August 31, 2018
When you’re single, you get asked one question constantly: Who are you dating?
When you get in a relationship, you get asked the next question: When are you getting married?
(Oh, and it doesn’t end there! Once you’ve had one, people want to know when baby #2 is coming.)
While the first two questions can be frustrating, that third question can be even harder.
Now, I personally believe that’s almost never an appropriate question to ask someone.
You never know what someone is going through. That couple may be having trouble conceiving – or maybe they have zero desire to have kids!
At the end of the day, it’s no one’s business when you’re going to have kids. At least, no one’s except you and your partner’s.
Which leads me to the one time it’s ok to ask that question: when you’re asking yourself.
You have to decide how long the phase between marriage and kids will be.
Some people jump straight from marriage to kids (or even skip over the whole marriage part entirely!), while others wait years, if they ever decide to have kids.
Me, I went the early route and I love it! Being a younger mom was amazing.
But there are things that you do miss out on when you’re doing the newborn phase in your early twenties.
Your friends are out there traveling, dating, and living what looks like care-free lives, while you’re at home watching Daniel Tiger for the millionth time.
Of course, those friends who were doing their thing while you were going through the baby years end up going through the baby phase later than you.
So while they’re sleep deprived and staying in because they couldn’t get a babysitter, you’re going out because your oldest kid is now old enough to babysit!
The important thing is to decide what YOU want.
There are pros and cons to having kids early or waiting until you’ve been married for a few years, but the only person who can decide is you.
There’s no right or wrong.
My only suggestion? Enjoy the pre-kids phase!
That phase between marriage and kids is so special. It’s just the two of you.
You can do whatever you want without worrying about finding a sitter or that you have to be up with the kids at the crack of dawn.
It’s a great time to build the foundation you’ll need as a couple when the kids do come – because when they come, nothing will ever be the same again!
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